It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
