Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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