Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Buhtt sex?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
