You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
