If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Watching her eat just hurts me
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
false alarm, still single
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
