about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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