so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth