My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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