I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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