At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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