I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
