Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
