The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
