I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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