I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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