I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're making bets on your personal life
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
How does it feel to date your dad?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize