she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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