I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
