I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
