We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I need to stop coming to work sober
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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