Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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