party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
