If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
