take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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