Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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