His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize