Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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