I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
