Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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