she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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