I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
