what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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