Cold hands, warm shart.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
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