What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
