quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
do herpes really smell.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
BRING THE BAGELS
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
