SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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