awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
