ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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