How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
