I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize