i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
