the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
