This girl is more easily done than said...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
