Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
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My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
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I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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