I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
