Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
