i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Found your dick twin last night
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
