You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
