If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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