I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
