I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize