walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
