Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
