Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
