If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
