addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
