literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
