I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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