I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
