u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
