so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Randomize
